A Father's Day Poem

Sherokee Ilse, is a good friend and co-author of the Couple Communication book we just published. She and her husband, David, have been good friends of Monica and mine since shortly after our babies died. Our baby's lives brought us together and in the last 25 years we have shared many good, and some sad, times together. Sherokee just sent me this poem she recently wrote and asked me to share it. Here it is:

Who Remembers You?

Dad, supporting mom along the way
Waiting for the time and day
When you can hold your daughter or son
And you can finally be the one
To toss your babe above your head
And tuck him in his waiting bed
Make a toy or buy a drum
Your time was near, but did not come.

Who knew you would be standing nigh
And have to prematurely say goodbye?

This day is yours and yet it's not
The others don't see the many tears you fought
To hold within and look so strong
As you tried to do nothing wrong.

On this your special Father's Day
Remember your baby who would want to say,
"I love you Dad. You are the one.
I'll always be your daughter or son.
Feel my kiss upon your cheek
And know that someday I believe we'll meet.
Until then, let your tears come, (or not)
And love my mommy lots and lots."

S. Ilse 2009


  1. oh I hope I commented on the right thing. My comment was for the poem..

  2. this is beautiful...and thanks for sharing. Imagine a father who gets a daughter but doesn't really want her? My child is 27 now but when I told my husband I was pregnant for her he said abort this baby cause we can't afford her. I had many issues throughout the pregnancy but I gave her life..she is my angel, my miracle because she made it through my stress and yet through my happiness of being able to bring her into the world. When she was 11 and standing on the back inside stairs she overheard her father arguing with me...she'd been doing a few bad things that was getting her into trouble..He yelled at me we wouldn't have this problem if you would've aborted her like I asked. I had no idea she was in the stairs listening. I felt horrible knowing she knew. She has hated him ever since. I love this child with all my heart, a gift from God, an angel, the love of my life. Her dad and I divorced...and she had tried to get along with her father. Not to be...she has choosen not to and I can't say i blame her. It's sad when a parent feels this way when so many parents want to be Dads and moms. I love her and am blessed that she was born.

  3. I absolutely love this. My fiance has a very hard time talking about our son Camryn as well. He was still born on Sept.19 2009 at 6 months gestation. I hope this poem etc will help him out. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Your poem is beautiful. It has brought tears to my eyes. My ex-husband had a hard time after our son Paul passed away. Whenever his name was brought up in conversations it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. I was also no help with his emotions because he was to worried about keeping me together that I never saw that he needed help as well. Sadly the loss was to much to keep our marriage together. Our son Paul was born in August of 1995 and passed away September 1995. We had 33 days of touch and go. Paul was 2.5 ounces when I delivered him at 6 months pregnant. We had to make a decision together on September 5th 1995 to remove him from all of the machines because of an infection in his spine that reached the base of his brain. It has taken me coming up on 17 years to realize as cliche as it sounds everything does happen for a reason. Not a day goes by that I dont think of Paul and wonder what if but I also now realize Im luck enough to have my own " Peanut Guardian Angel " that is with me always and making sure his father, myself and his big brother are all safe. God Bless You and again your poem is absolutely lovely and Im sorry for your loss.

  5. Hi, i really feel the pain in your fathers day poems. I hope your fine now, thanks for sharing your feelings and wonderful post.

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  17. this is beautiful...and a debt of gratitude is in order for sharing. Envision a dad who gets a little girl yet doesn't generally need her? My kid is 27 now yet when I told my better half I was pregnant for her he said prematurely end this infant cause we can't manage the cost of her. I had numerous issues all through the pregnancy yet I gave her life..she is my heavenly attendant, my wonder since she endured my pressure but through my bliss of having the option to carry her into the world. At the point when she was 11 and remaining on the back inside steps she caught her dad contending with me...she'd been doing a couple of awful things that was getting her into trouble..He hollered at me we wouldn't have this issue in the event that you would've prematurely ended her like I inquired. I had no clue she was in the steps tuning in. I felt ghastly realizing she knew. She has loathed him from that point onward. I love this youngster with my entire existence, a blessing from God, a heavenly attendant, the affection for my life. Her father and I divorced...and she had attempted to coexist with her dad. Not to be...she has choosen not to and I can't state I accuse her. It's pitiful when a parent feels along these lines when such huge numbers of guardians need to be Dads and mothers. I love her and am honored that she was conceived.

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