Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day, and therefore a day that we are expected to be a little more sensitive and romantic than we might usually be. Some view it as purely a commercial plot to get us to spend money on frivolous things like flowers (that die in few days), chocolates (that don't help anyone's waistline), or jewelry (that we can't afford).

Regardless of your feelings, if you have had a recent loss, be especially mindful of reaching out to your partner in an even more special way today. If money is tight, just commit to taking time away from the weekend chores and sitting with her to talk. If that sounds depressing because you both have been sad (or she, especially, has been sad), maybe make an agreement that for today you aren't going to talk only about the baby and the pain you've experienced with your loss. Instead, make a deal that today's conversation will be only to talk about the things you each fell in love with when you first met and all those things that made you want to grow as a couple and eventually have a child together.

If your relationship has been tense because you seem to be in different spots and you aren't feeling like you understand each other anymore, today would be a good day to start an honest dialogue about why you might act the way you do (which is quite often -- especially for men -- a very different thing than how you really feel), and your gift to each other is to explain that -- even if you think it should be obvious or that SURELY they must really understand. My bet is that there are some very wrong perceptions being carried with the both of you, and a simple walk together, sharing a chair by the fireplace, or going for coffee or a glass of wine, will go a long way in clearing some things up.

Give it some thought. I'm guessing it would be a very wise investment on this day we are especially reminded of romance and love. Good luck.

PS: If you read this and the day has passed or it didn't go as well as you wish it would have, there is nothing to say that you can't create your own Valentine's Day tomorrow or next week. And the beauty of that is that the chocolates will be half priced and the restaurants won't be as crowded!