Grief and Technology

I am curious as to whether many of you have an opinion about the most effective ways to receive long-range grief support in today's high tech society?

Obviously nothing can replace the hug or face to face meetings one gets from family and friends. But for those who don't feel that support or live in a smaller community where support groups may not be readily available, what has worked for you? What hasn't? What would you like to see offered?

The internet opens new worlds for all of us every day. Blogs, web sites, chat groups, online memorials, are all becoming more plentiful and I know many wonderful people who invest hours and hours of effort into their outreach to others via these outlets. But, what is missing? What do you find is not as helpful as you hoped it would be?

The company I co-own, A Place To Remember, is always looking for the most effective ways to reach families at the time they need it. That's not easy, since none of us put losing a child on our list of short or long range plans. And certainly, when in the midst of shock and extreme sadness, having to search for help can feel overwhelming. Sadly, every day we hear from people who have stumbled upon a resource they think is wonderful, but they wish it had been available (or they were aware of it) at the time they needed it most.

The high tech world and grief don't always seem to feel like they should go together, but in fact they do. We just need to figure out the most effective way to harness the best of what is available.

Any thoughts?

5 comments:

  1. I can honestly say, blogland has helped me more then my use to be friends whom turned their backs on me.I have meet others that have loss a baby/child and they give me support as well I as I do them.I'm happy for my blog friends!

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  2. mom.with.lonely.armsFebruary 7, 2010 at 1:04 AM

    When we lost our son in July '09 (he was full-term) we were living out in the country in Colorado. I think some of the things that helped the most were the little emails and notes people sent me. I just couldn't face people but knowing they cared through their notes really helped.

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  3. Hi Tim !

    I agree that the internet opens new worlds to us everyday .
    It will change the world I believe.
    My main source of support has been the website " ourmiscarriage.com "
    There a couple that whent through miscarriage share they experience and the forum is always alive as people from all over the world are active and support eachoter on the message board.You can share your problem and someone will respond to you very soon as there is woman from many different times zones and different continents ( USA ; Australia , Canada , Europe )
    This has been extremely important for my healing and I have met friends that are very positive and supportive, some of them has become very close and we have exchanged email adressess and even home -adresses.
    Because we live on different continents we have never met in reality but yet without those girls I would have been very miserable while going through the grief as people who hasnt experienced a loss doesnt understand and cant offer the support you wish for .
    I was rather lucky and came across this website by coincidence a few weeks after the miscarraige when I was feeling so down and lonely , I had nowhere to turn as the summer holiday time was on and every therapist I called either was on holidays or had more than one months waiting time but I was miserable NOW .
    What saved me was the contact with the other girls on that website that reached out to me and were able to comfort me through words , It meant enourmously much to me and I will forever be greateful and thank God for the love and care I got there.
    Im afraid that without that support I might have gone into a deep depression as I felt extremely lonely and unhappy before I found it.
    I have also moved on to read blogs as some of the girls on the forum started their own blogs and that also means a lot as you get support and people share their problems and you dont feel so lonely knowing that other people go through a similar situation as you do , and also get a lot of ideas on how to stay positive or how to move on after your loss.
    I have found your blog and asked for your help and advice too, which has helped me a lot too.

    I think what needs to be done is to make contact with hospitals , gynecologists and midwifes to inform about good sources of support like helpful books, websites , therapists .
    When you go through a miscarriage / infant loss its such a shock to you and its hard to find the strength to look for support but if everybody that experienced a m/c / infant loss got a folder from the healthcare provider with info on where to look for support that would be a great help.
    So my advice is to make contact with the relevant healthcare provider and cooperate with them , this will be of benefit for the patients.

    Wish you and your family a good week - Best wishes / Angie H

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  4. A good question and a topical topic.

    I think that the best thing about the internet is the ease with which you can find people going through the same thing as you, and people who are like-minded. Also the fact that the commitment is low and it can be annonymous helps too.

    That said I think it can seperate you from "real" friends which isn't the best.

    Blogs are a great introduction and then perhaps hooking up on facebook etc. But perhaps the issues are that you don't necessarily find ways to be real in the real world which can increase the sense of isolation.

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  5. Blogs such as this one have helped me and my wife. Our son Tristan passed away July 2009 at the age of 54 days. During the first few months everyone was there for us but as time moves on so does everyone who did not lose a child. Some members of the blogs now understand me more than friends I have had for 10+ years. It is a way to know and understand we are not by ourselves and alone.

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