"They Were Still Born" - NEW BOOK


They Were Still Born, By Janel Atlas: I was pleased to be asked to contribute a chapter to this new book, which is a compilation of personal reflections on stillbirth. It's a beautiful book filled with a variety of perspectives from those who have lived through this tragedy. Available from Amazon.

14 comments:

  1. Sounds a great book for those that need to read true accounts of grief. It is often so hard to talk about. I was encouraged to write a journal many years ago after my toddler died. It is now available as an eBook here http://www.settlepetal.com/products/After-Your-Child-Dies-eJournal.html
    It will bring hope and encouragement to those who need it. Yours in grief and life, Jan

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  2. For me it was January 29th 2011 at 3:58am. It was the 35th week. I'd love to say that I am completely alright. That, however, would not be the truth. This may be the most difficult thing a person can go through. I've had to come to grips with that. For anyone else who discovers this page amidst a similar loss, allow yourself to be angry. Believe it or not it helps, and don't forget.

    -"Her Name Was Riley Jene...and I Am Her Father"

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  3. Just found this site, as it was posted in the Stillbirth group of DailyStrength.com. I am one of 2 fathers I know of on there. My wife and I lost our John Evan on January 5th, 2011. He was our first (and obviously at this point) only child. Like Jason posted above me, we were near the end of the 35th week. I was actually about 1,000 miles away when my wife went in for her weekly check-up and they found no heartbeat. He was moving a lot the day before as I was leaving for the airport. Why was I 1,000 miles away with my wife nearly 8 months pregnant? It was to be a short trip... I was attending my grandfather's funeral. Needless to say, I lost my grandfather and son within a 3-day time period. One was expected, the other obviously wasn't.

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    1. I see these posts are older but i'm replying anyways. 12 days ago my baby boy Peyton James was taken from my wife and I. just 2 days before that happened my Grandmother, who helped raise me from a little boy, passed away. Just 3 weeks before that her husband, my grandfather passed away. I lost 2 grandparents and a son in 3 weeks. Grandparents, while very difficult, you expect, but not your child. He was our third. My wife was full term. He weighed 6lb 13 oz's 18.5 inches long. My wife went in for her weekly check up and they couldn't find a heart beat. I got a call from the nurse at the doctors office from my wifes phone, all i could hear was my wife screaming and crying i rushed down there immediately. they told me he was dead and she had to be induced. his car seat is still in the car, his cradle is still in our room. our daughter draws pictures of him and her and everyone else in the family holding hands. our first born had cancer when he was 2, that was the most horrible thing i ever had to go through, until this. if it wasn't for my kids i would give up, but i'm trying to stay strong. thanks for letting me get this out.

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    2. Hi, my name is Rafael and I'm a freelance writer currently working on an article to raise the awareness of male grief after a stillbirth.

      If you have experienced stillbirth or miscarriage and would be willing to talk about your story, please send me an email to findrafael@hotmail.com

      I understand this is a very difficult topic and your contribution is appreciated.
      Regards, Rafael.

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  4. My son died 4 days before he was born on June 4th 2011.He was full term. He was 7lb 3oz had curly brown hair and was beautiful. I never saw him alive but I miss him terribly. I loved him completely before he was born. i don't know how much other fathers suffer but I think it is under recognised how much men suffer as well as women when their child dies like this.

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  5. Our first son was stillborn at 37 weeks in October 2009. I was completely alert while the medical staff at the hospital gave my partner plenty of medications to dull the emotional and physical pain of an emergency c-section (just two days prior to our scheduled date of meeting our little boy). The experience was and still is vivid in my memory.

    I would hope that no other father would have to lose his child and read this - but if you are now a member of this awful club you can know that I understand your array of unwanted feelings and I wish I could bring your child back to you.

    Our second son was born alive at 36 1/2 weeks in a pre-scheduled c-section following an extremely stressful pregnancy. He is now 15 months old and wish every day that he could have known his big brother. Having a child following a loss takes the edge off the pain, but I will always wish that my first son's "dash" on this earth would have been longer....

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  6. I see these posts are older but i'm replying anyways. 12 days ago my baby boy Peyton James was taken from my wife and I. just 2 days before that happened my Grandmother, who helped raise me from a little boy, passed away. Just 3 weeks before that her husband, my grandfather passed away. I lost 2 grandparents and a son in 3 weeks. Grandparents, while very difficult, you expect, but not your child. He was our third. My wife was full term. He weighed 6lb 13 oz's 18.5 inches long. My wife went in for her weekly check up and they couldn't find a heart beat. I got a call from the nurse at the doctors office from my wifes phone, all i could hear was my wife screaming and crying i rushed down there immediately. they told me he was dead and she had to be induced. his car seat is still in the car, his cradle is still in our room. our daughter draws pictures of him and her and everyone else in the family holding hands. our first born had cancer when he was 2, that was the most horrible thing i ever had to go through, until this. if it wasn't for my kids i would give up, but i'm trying to stay strong. thanks for letting me get this out.

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  7. My daugter Emily was stillborn at 38 weeks my wife and i went in for her bi-weekly check up and there was no heart beat she creid almost all day but i held it in till i was driving after the baby had been delivered while her parents sat with her i pulled the car over and called my mother to let her know what had happened the greif hit me like a ton of bricks i cried and it helped i wanted to be strong for my wife but i think crying and letting the tears flow when they came really helps me i hope someone else can find some sense of solace in their own tears as im trying. it still hurts so much

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  8. I know this page is for dads but I wanted to say fathers tears don't make you weak it helps us as mothers to know that you hurt too being strong doesn't mean being motionless and stiff it means not giving up not shutting down not abusing something like alcohol or drugs bc of our loss mom of a still born baby girl first pregnancy born 1/9/13 I was five months pregnant

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  9. We lost our baby boy Finlay on 26th September 2011. He was nine days overdue and we had no reason to think anything was wrong. He stopped moving on the Sunday, but as this is what our first son did the day before he was born, we thought nothing of it. I was called at work by my partner, it was time to meet our new Son. Less than 2 hours later we were told "I'm sorry, but we can't find a heart beat". Kirsty had to give birth knowing that we would be leaving our beautiful baby boy behind. He was born at 4.04pm weighing 7 pounds 11oz. Almost 2 years later I still miss him and cry often. We have since had another baby boy Tyler, I love my boys with all my heart and sole, but I can't help but wonder what kind of boy Finlay would have been? What colour were his eyes, even if I could have just heard him take one single breath. Fathers day is fantastic with my two boys, but miss Finlay so much.

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  10. My wife and I lost our little boy Beau 2 months ago, he was perfect. I feel worse now than a few Dads have said on this blog regarding how it 'appears' that Fathers are near enough forgotten in these circumstances. Stupid questions and comments by people has almost resulted in me lashing out. I thank The Lord that we have 2 lovely little girls but to be honest I feel awful. I get so down that my whole countenance changes. I know I will go to be with Beau and that he will not return to me but it helps very little. I could not have believed how much pain this causes. May God help all of us here and all those grieving. Richard

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  11. I see all of these posts are very old but I need to vent. My wife went into pre-labor at 41+ weeks just as she had with all four of our precious children. The contractions were consistent every 6 - 8 minutes apart then everything stopped. We rushed to the hospital and there was no heartbeat. My wife was given a c-section and my son, Sloan Harvey was delivered. I have not stopped crying except when I am actively taking care of my other children. My wife is distraught and we have no clue how to move forward. Its hard to pray for comfort when you are still blaming God. I don't even know how to begin that prayer, God where were you when I needed you p.s. I need you now. Sorry if this is distasteful I'm hurting.

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